I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
Randomize
