is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
