but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize
