His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
You are the jesus of drinking
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Randomize
