I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
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