so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
