The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
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we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
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Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
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