There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
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