So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
