Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
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