i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Randomize
