Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
I didn't notice because vodka
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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