We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Randomize
