I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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