i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Randomize
