just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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