kristin has been a bad kristin
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
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