just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Randomize
