I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
Randomize
