Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
