I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
This house was built for laser tag.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Randomize
