the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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