I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
