i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
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