who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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