so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
Randomize
