You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
