And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
You're breaking my sexual little heart
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
Randomize
