My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
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