so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
