We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
