i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
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