but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
