Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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