I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
