I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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