addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
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