so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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