he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
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