My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
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