there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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