No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
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