I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Randomize
