whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
Randomize
