You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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