Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
How does one acquire holy water?
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
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