we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
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Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
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How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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