I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
and she was petting her beer can
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
I am mentally ready for anal.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
