the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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