Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
too bad you live with your parents still
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
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