So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Randomize
