he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
