Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Randomize
