She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
That's when you crack a 10am beer
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
Randomize
