would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Randomize
