its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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