If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Randomize
