how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Randomize
