yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
I got inside last night via doggy door
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Randomize
