Having a random hookup so left but love u
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize
